March 16, 2016
No really. Wake up.
Life is short.
Live every single day like it might be your last. Understand that you control what makes you happy. You control how you look at things in your life. You control how you want to face every single day and every single situation. Why spend life mad, frustrated, envious or disappointed? In just a moments time, your life can change forever. We have no control over that. If your life ended today, would you be happy? If someone was taken from your life today, could you say you had your best times with them? Did you leave things unsaid to anyone? Are you proud of yourself? Do you do the things and act in a way that makes your life awesome? You should!
Facebook has been reminding me of past moments. You know, it gives you the option to see your memories and things you posted in the past. With the more recent memories, my heart flutters with all things “Mama” when I see last year’s posts of Z at just a few weeks old. Go back beyond that and I see links to previous blog posts, which are also pretty awesome reminding me of the struggle to get to a better place. Then… I get back to the dark time. The time when everything was the suck. When my posts were negative and sad. When I was pretty much wishing each day away because I hated my job, was unhappy with my home, not in the greatest place with the Hubs and broke. Apparently, I thought everyone needed to know that I was miserable and thought maybe if I shared it in my status on facebook it would make me feel better. It didn’t. There was nothing anyone could say to make me feel better and I think maybe I just wanted people to commiserate with me. Eww.
I was envious of my friends that were in a “better” place than me. Everyone seemed so happy while I was dragging myself through a “groundhog day” lifestyle. I looked at the friends that were done with school, that had nice homes and were seeming living their lives how I wanted to be living mine. What I didn’t realize was, I had the power to make my life exactly how I wanted it to be. If I just turned each situation into a positive… that I was in school, I had a home, a job and a husband… and I was just lucky to be able to be where I was… it would have been a whole different situation.
Thankfully, I was able to turn that around. Over the years after I graduated and found a great job and CrossFit, my life began to change. I took control. I did those things. I made my life better. I got out of a bad job situation. I changed my whole lifestyle and joined the gym, made some amazing friends and took control of my health. Hubs and I took a good look at our marriage and were able to learn to communicate better, laugh more and not be so stressed out in our relationship. We are in love and are so blessed to have each other.
There have been days where the “ugly” pops up again. Times when I start to feel that little green envy monster sitting on my shoulder whispering “why cant I have that.” Frankly, it pisses me off. I don’t know why we are programmed in our lives to want what don’t have. I have to remind myself that I am in control. There is no reason I cant have what that person has (within reason of course). I just have to make the changes in my life that are necessary to do so.
However, more importantly, I can not live my life for tomorrow. I have a pretty great life at this moment. Why focus on the negative?
Over the last few months I have experienced quite a bit of loss, from a tragic and sudden loss for a co-worker, to a long battle and loss for another co-worker, to the loss of a strong amazing big hearted Great Uncle of mine… each one while a completely different situation from each other, causes me to take a step back and be thankful for my life. Why does it take death to make that happen. It shouldn’t. I have experienced enough loss that I should be living that way every single day… life is all about perspective. We are owed nothing. Be happy, make changes, hug, kiss, laugh… life can change tomorrow.
No really. Wake up.
Life is short.