January 14, 2016
As if I haven’t written about this one a million times…
The year 2015 was filled with so many changes its hard to keep track of them all. We are 14 days into 2016 and there are many many more changes to come. There has to be. Change is what keeps life moving forward. Change is what helps us evolve. Change is what sparks excitement, challenge, happiness, sadness and unpredictability in life.
There three types of change as I see it. One, something you initiate yourself, a new job, a haircut, starting the gym or a diet, the decision to have a baby and the birth of that child… these things YOU have control of. You made the decision to make the change. Two, something that happens in life someone else has control of, losing your job, your parents/friends moving or changing jobs, a new “standard” way of doing something at your job or gym… these things SOMEONE ELSE has control of. They have decided to make a change and you have to “deal” with it, accept the change and move on. Finally, three, something that happens that was not a choice of anyone, NO ONE has control, a death, sickness, the weather, an accident, your child suddenly deciding its time to scale the stairs or start teething in the middle of the night. All are change… all happen in everyone’s lives every single day…
All three types of change are an adjustment. Personally, change I initiate myself is always welcome. What makes this so awesome and easy to accept is that I had/have control over it. I made the choice for the change… Even if it is something I choose to challenge myself with… like when I decided to join CrossFit and make it part of my everyday life… or when we decided we wanted to have a baby. Yes, these are two very different changes and certainly on very different scales, but they both affected my life and forced me to make certain day to day decisions. The change in lifestyle was not easy when I started CrossFit and gave up eating like shit and half assing it at the globo-gym. It was hard, taxing and challenging… but I never let myself quit. It was something I wanted in my life and I faced the change square on. It was a self-induced challenge. The change in lifestyle as a Mama has been massive guessing game that I hope and pray I make the right choices with every day… It is the most challenging, yet most rewarding change I have ever faced in my life. I love being a Mama! I suppose the biggest difference in these two is that CrossFit dosent have to continue to be in my life unless I choose to keep it. My little man… well… he has me wrapped around his finger for the rest of my life.
Of course, for me, the other two types of change can be hard to accept at times. Some are certainly more “welcome” than others. You might be “in favor” of a change that is being brought to you so the idea of making that change isn’t so bad… you might be happy that the change is going to take place. Will it improve your life/job/experience? Does it make things easier or more convenient for you? Do you find yourself thinking “I wish I thought of that?” If so, you are probably going to have an easier time accepting the change and moving on. No, you didn’t choose to make it happen, but maybe you wished that it would change or you never thought it could get better. Those are the times you embrace the change like you initiated it yourself. Its easy… right?
Then, there is the “other” change. The one you can’t accept… have a hard time accepting… or really, just don’t want to accept. This can either be change that was initiated by someone else, or something that no one has any control over. There are so many extremes to this its hard to cover the spectrum. Did they change the coffee in your office from Starbucks to Newmans Own? But you like Starbucks better… why didn’t anyone ask? Did they suddenly change your health insurance and its costing you more money now? Is this just a fact of life and increase all over, or just your company… it already feels like your whole paycheck is “gone” before it hits your bank account. Did your parents move 900 miles away? How will you just pop in to see them? Was there an accident, did someone pass away? So so so many different situations, all sucky on different levels, but all CHANGE. Change that you now have to “deal” with and accept as part of your life.
It is my goal (and has been for a while) to start to “embrace” these types of changes. Try to understand why they are happening if possible, of course some things, like a death or accident are just too hard to understand. If I try to understand why the change is occurring, weather I am in favor of it or not, it will soften the blow. It allows me to look at in a different light and start to accept what is about to happen. I can look at what I need to do to get through it and if I am really feeling ambitious, I might be able to find a positive in it. I might start to see that the change is going to do good things for me and I don’t know it yet.. or maybe it has a positive effect on someone else and will improve their life and happiness. Maybe, just maybe, the change was initiated as a positive welcome change for someone else, yet it feels like a challenge to me because I don’t think like them or feel whatever it is is necessary. I may not understand why it has to be that way, but guess what? In most cases I just have to accept it. Why not try to do it with a positive outlook, give it a shot. Certainly complaining, crying or protesting, is not going to make it not happen.
If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. -Maya Angelou