Sunday, May 10, 2015

Holy Sh*t, I'm a Mama

May 10, 2015

Today deserves a post.

I am sitting her in my living room on the floor with my lap top in my lap. I have on eye on the screen and the other on Mr Z as he snoozes away after a long day and very exciting weekend.

See, I promised you guys (I say that like people actually read this... other than you NB "Hiiii") that I would write up my birth story. I did that. I spent a little time the other day and wrote it out. I decided that it was far to personal to put out there on the interwebs. Its something that I want to have between me, Hubs and #2. I will include it in Mr Z's baby scrap book and anyone who sees that can choose to read it or not, but sorry, the whole story isnt going to go up here. I do want to share the highlights... because I am a woman of my word!

We all know I was overdue. At 41 weeks I had my NST and ultrasound. It was assumed that I would want to be induced as soon as possible so at my appointment that week they let me know I was all set to go to the hospital Sunday (the 22nd of Feb) to get started. I asked my Dr if there was any reason that I "had" to be induced. She agreed that if there was no medical reason and I was comfortable with it, we could go to 42 weeks. She orderd another NST and sent me on my way with instructions that if I didnt go into labor on my own by Wednesday the 25th that I had to go and be admitted.

The week came and went and after the gym and work on Wednesday I headed home for Hubs and I to go to the hospital. Kind of weird knowing the next time we would be home, we would have the little monster with us.

So here is where you are going to get the abbreviated version, They admitted me and started what is called Cervidil. This is supposed to start softening the cervix. Its inserted and should be kept in for 12 hours. Apparently, this thing can fall out when you go to the bathroom. If you think a 42 week pregnant woman dosent get up 4 times a night to pee especially when kept up all night totally intrigued by the sound of her babies heart beat on a monitor.. you are out of your mind!

In the morning they came to check if it worked. This is when the found that it was in fact "missing." It also did nothing. I was not dilated at all and the little bugger was still super high. The nurse was instructed to start pitocin and the Dr would be back in "a few hours."

Clearly the little monster was just as anxious about pitocin as I was and decided to make the first move. When the nurse came in to came in to start it, she asked if I was feeling the contractions she could see on the monitor. I was... which were not really painful at the time. She at that time decided she was NOT going to start the pitocin and see what would happen on its own. It was 8:30am.

Just a few hours later at 10am I was not able to speak through a contraction. Hubs called my parents and #2 arrived. The rest is sort of a blur. I remember going thinking "how am I going to do this?" I remember telling the woman that asked me if I wanted drugs to "go away." I remember thinking that it was taking Hubs 100 hours to drink 1 cup of coffee... (found out later it was his second cup).

Next thing I knew I was telling Hubs that I was in so much pain I didnt think I could do it. That I was going to cave. The contractions were hard, fast and really really painful. I labored at the edge of the bed seated with Hubs in front of me and #2 behind me. They both were doing all the "right things" without even my asking. I was however, scared to death.

A mere 3 hours after being told I was 3cm... I was checked and was fully dilated. HOLY SHIT STORM it was time to actually push this kid out. The room got crazy there were too many nurses and too many people talking at me. I didnt like it. My Dr arrived and was shocked to see where I was and how fast I progressed. She understood my anxiety and backed everyone off so I could focus on what I needed to do from one person giving direction. Three contractions and 9 real pushes later... the most amazing thing happened... my son was born.

1:40 on February 26, 2015... I became a Mama.

I wont ever say it was "easy" because it wasnt. But I will say this, I was told "you will forget" and "its totally worth it." Both of these are true. There was nothing and will be nothing that compares in my lifetime to giving birth to my son. The whole thing, the 42 weeks, the labor and the delivery... 100% worth it. Also, by the time he was in my arms, the pain was gone. Even the recovery... it just melts away every time I looked at him.

Now (because about 2 hours has passed since I actually started this post), I just fed the little man and put him to bed after spending my first mothers day as a mother... It was the most amazing day. He is the most amazing little boy and I am so excited to see what his life brings him. I love life through his eyes. Everything is so pure and new. The world is in front of him... Look out!!

I can only hope that I can be the Mama for him that my Mama is for me...

Me and Mr Z - February 26, 2015

Me and Mr Z - Mothers Day, May 10, 2015

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