Friday, February 20, 2015

FORTY ONE... yes, 41 weeks...

February 20, 2015

FORTY ONE... yes, 41 weeks...

I have been thinking of what to write for this week. Its hard, it really is at this point, to come up with things to write... so this is what I decided to do. I am going to provide you with a list of things that I have heard said to me about 4,000 times in the last week, some even before I was "overdue" and let you know why I feel the way I do about them. I am sure, very very sure that what I am going to say is going to come across crappy to some, but absolutely hilarious to others (maybe if you have been in my shoes, or even just pregnant in general). I am also 100% sure that every person that asks anything, is just clearly showing their way of caring and interest in what is happening to me. So please dont take offense to this. Everyone is "excited" and I am totally excited too! I cant wait to meet and hold the stubborn Little Monster that kicks the crap out of me daily... but really, this is a list that makes me cringe.

"How ya feeling" (especially in that sing songy drawn out voice)
I hate this one... and I have heard it the most, at least 5 times a day sometimes back to back. I know its the most natural and first question people think of to ask... but my personal response day after day after day... is "great." Because, I am feeling great. Things havent changed and to be honest, I am not sure what people are expecting to hear. I would assume most women would say "good" or "ok" or something along those lines and not really get into the "details." Or do they... 

"Any baby news"
No... no news. I promise that when I have the baby I will not keep it a secret. Hubs and I will take the time we need with the Little Monster and than CALL our family and friends, text some other people and than share the news with social media (in that order). Rest assured, there is no way we will keep the birth of our child a secret from anyone. And no, just because I didn't answer your text or message/email does not mean I am in labor.

"How dialated are you?" or "Have they checked you"
Um... yes, I have a very public blog on the interwebz and yes, I  do share things about my life and my personal experiences... but there is no way in this world I am going to talk about the inner workings of my vagina with anyone other than my doctor, my husband and my mother (and dont go calling my mother she isnt going to tell you either). I have not shared, publicly, my ultrasound images for the same reason. This is the inside of my body... that is personal to me. If I showed you in person, great. If not. Sorry. I dont know you well enough, or feel comfortable with you enough to share that. Some women have no issues announcing to the world that they are Xcm dialated and whatever % effaced... but me, no. You arent going to hear that from me. I have also declined unless medically necessary to "check" me.

"Will you let me know when you are on the way to the hospital"
Unless you are my husband or my doctor, who probably already know that I am on the way to the hospital... not going to happen.

"Oh you poor thing"
Poor thing? Was I complaining about something? I am pretty sure I just said I was doing great when you just asked me how I was doing... I am not lying. I feel great. I feel amazing actually. There are times I forget that I am pregnant (aside from the constant poking on the inside).

"Have you tried *insert one of the million things that people tell you to do here*"
Walking... yes, I walk a lot... every day in fact. Squatting... Id say so. I squat a few times a week, is it ok that there is 125+lbs on the bar? Eating spicy food... every day. Having sex... right because I am going to tell you all about that... right after I tell you how dilated I am. Eating anything else... riding down a bumpy street... castor oil... raspberry tea... REALLY?! The list goes on and on and on and on...

"Your still going to the gym?"
Yep, every morning. Didnt you just tell me to squat? and walk?

"Your still here (at work)"
Ah... yes. Last I checked having a baby will cost me some money... and I need to work. So until the little one is here, yes... I am at work.

"Enjoy it now, once the baby is here its on the outside, its more work... get some sleep"
SLEEP... hahaha. I havent had a full night sleep in months. I am also confused, do you want the baby to come, or do you not? Should I hurry up and have it... or wait it out as long as I can and be thankful I am overdue... this is all so confusing.

"It feels like youve been pregnant forever"
I am sorry that it seems like forever for you. Let me speed that up for you. I dont know how you have managed to make it a whole 41 weeks. I am sorry, how can I make it up to you. Maybe a text on the way to the hospital even if its the middle of the night so you can sleep better knowing you are almost done worring about me.

"When are you going to be induced"
Well, I know its hard to believe, but I have decided to let nature take its course. I will go as long as the doctors will allow me to safely go with the baby on the inside. I know its hard to believe but I dont want to force my child out, as crazy excited as I am to meet him/her... I am not uncomfortable and believe it or not, have talked to my Doctors about the health and well being of both myself and my child... From the start of my pregnancy I have had a little intervention as possible. So, my plan, my plan is to see if this all happens naturally...

"The baby will come when its ready"
Slowly count to 10... walk away from the pregnant lady... she might haul off and wack you...

P.S. DONT TOUCH... never touch a pregnant womans belly unless she tells you its ok...

Now... this wouldnt be a "good" list and I would feel kinda shitty if I didnt follow it up with things you SHOULD day to a 41 week... or any pregnant woman.

"Good Morning" or "Hello"
Just act casual, normal... acknowledge her presence and if she has anything to share with you... she will. If she is a close friend or family member that shares, this is the time she will share with you.

"Good to see you, you look great"
Lie if you have to... but for the love of god stop with the "you are still here's"

"Want to go get a pedicure"
She is still a "normal" person. She likes to do fun things and YES she will still want to go to dinner and have a fun night out and maybe some time with her friends before the baby comes. So... ask and maybe she will be free!

"Did you watch XYZ last night"
Or any other normal conversation you might have with her. She really just wants things to feel "normal."

"Thinking of you"
This is an awesome text or message to receive. As long as you arent going to FREAK OUT if she dosent get back to you right away... or assume she is in labor if she dosent... than perfect!

"Sending my love and hope everything is good"
Another great message. Not asking for information, not freaking if it is not responded to... just enough to let her know you care.

This is all I have to offer for now. I guess a good rule of thumb is this... if she hasnt shared anything with you before she was 41 weeks, she probably isnt going to indulge in what her last appointment was like, if her discharge has changed, if she has lost her mucus plug or if and when she is going to be induced. Also, tread lightly... start with something like "good morning, how are you" like you would ask anyone... pregnant or not and if the person you are asking wants to get into how they "are" than they will.. if they are like me... they will be happy you didnt start the conversation with "HOW YA FEEEEEELLLLINNNNN?"

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