January 2, 2014
Well, that was nice. Its the first time today that I wrote the date without having to correct myself!! Go me!
Don't adjust your browser... it was time for a "new look!"
So, one of the things I struggled with in the last few months is actually really hard for me to admit. I am going to go ahead and do it anyway even if it may seem as if everything I have written about before is hypocritical, please understand it was not. I believe and feel every word I write on here. Maybe, (I hope) it will prove that I am actually "human" and that even "strong" people have weak moments. That sometimes people fall down... its just a matter of getting back up, brushing off and taking a step forward.
I think, honestly, not writing and not expressing myself really did a number on my happiness. I was letting life go quickly and was back to living the "groundhog day" lifestyle that I promised myself I would never allow to happen to me again. No, I didnt stop going to the gym, competing, working hard or kicking my own ass every day... No, I didnt fall off the wagon and eat take out every other day for weeks on end... No, I didnt lose my job, stray from my family or betray my friends... but... I did stop having "fun." I stopped looking at my life one day at a time and started falling back into the habit of thinking "when XYZ happens." I added pressure to myself that is/was unnecessary. I didnt look for new and fun things to shake things up... I was stuck. I was complaining, bitching and being grumpy... waiting for the next shoe to drop.
Its so important to live life for "today" and not "tomorrow." The next thing you know it will be New Years Eve and you will be thinking... "holy shit that was the fastest year ever." Yes, I accomplished some major goals last year both in CrossFit and professionally. I am not discounting any of those at all. What I did do, was forget to celebrate some of those moments. Take a step back and think how awesome it is that I did whatever it was I set out to do! Have FUN with those moments and really enjoy and revel in my happiness. Instead, in some cases I added stress, in some I looked to quickly towards the next goal and in some... I just let pass by because I felt that maybe since no one else was excited about whatever it was that it wasn't really worth the celebration.
Well... EFF THAT! First of all, who is anyone to take that away from me. If I want to be happy and proud of myself for something as simple as cooking dinner for my husband than you know what. I am going to be. If I want to write an entire blog post about it... Yep, I am going to do that too. My happiness is my happiness, things that make me happy and excite me for tomorrow and the next day... those are the things that I wake up every day for.
I cant put my finger on what made me start to drift back into those old habits, but I am done. I am sorry if I disappointed anyone, just know that if you keep your head up and keep pushing forward you can get yourself to anywhere you want to be mentally. The mind is am amazing thing.
Goals are fantastic... goals keep me going. I set them constantly and reach for them daily. Happiness is all around me. Appreciate, recognize and never forget the things that make you happy. Have FUN and laugh a lot!