I was feeling pretty nostalgic yesterday and decided to look back at some of my old posts. I am so happy that I started writing as soon as I started crossfit. Not only is it nice to go back and be able to see my weights and times of previous workouts, but I also can really go back into my own mind when I wrote those posts and feel those feelings all over again. I can remember what each one of those feelings were like including every struggle and every accomplishment. Its almost like I can look back and relive what I went through and use it as fuel to keep moving forward. For every struggle I had, I had a learning experience and for every PR I had a humbling moment, its pretty cool to have a written reminder of that.
Yesterday was a struggle day. I was so extremely happy with myself that I had got my ONE handstand pushup that I totally passed over the fact that I did all those squats… and the entire second WOD. I took some time to reflect on that when I got home and re-read what I wrote about. I certainly had a frustrating workout, but I didn’t let it bog me down. I have to say, in about 90% of my prior writing and experiences with CrossFit this has been a pretty common thread. I have never let one workout get me down, I used it as fuel to make the fire burn higher and brighter. The next time I was going to kick some ass.
Looking back keeps me in check. Reminds me where I started and how far I have come. From the woman who would literally be in tears in the fitting room of any given store because I just cant stand the way anything fit on my body… to the woman who if something doesn’t fit, just puts it down and moves on. My body is my work, I have control and I am proud of what I have done. If the clothes don’t fit… too bad. I will find something! From the woman who finished a block jog when we were at the garage, huffing and puffing, having no idea if it was ever going to get better… to the woman who is willingly running 3 miles every Thursday night for “active recovery.” From the woman who would be in such a pissy mood ever single Saturday while Hubs dragged her to the gym… to the woman who is up and ready to leave for the gym on a Saturday at 8:30am, who feels like something is completely missing if the gym is missed. So very much has changed in the last year, I will never forget where I came from… and I will never go back there.
It may not look like it, but I love those days (like yesterday) when I struggle to get something that I know deep down inside that I can get. I love that feeling of putting it all out on the table and struggling to reach the finish line. Even if the results aren’t exactly what I want them to be sometimes. I was talking to Hubs the other night about this person in my life… they are pretty miserable, pretty negative about a lot of things. I am finding myself trying to figure out why, if they are so miserable, why don’t they do something about it? It really hits home with me because I was that person. I was in that place. I was miserable and I was taking it out on everyone else. God, I don’t know how people wanted to be around me! However, I am living proof that there is way to get out of that funk. If you are not happy, if you are not where you want to be in life… only YOU can get yourself there. It takes time, it takes work… but its totally worth it.
When I talk to someone who is just starting out crossfit or paleo my first sentence (after they say they are nervous, but excited and ready to commit) is “just remember, everyone starts somewhere.” This I think is one of the hardest things to overcome when starting out. Even people who have been crossfitting for a long time look at others and strive for their successes… but you have to remember that whether someone is doing scaled pullups with a band or someone is doing butterfly pullups… everyone is working just as hard (assuming everyone is putting it all on the table). Everyone has goals and most people started where everyone else does. When starting Paleo you hear the infamous “I don’t know I will ever give up sugar…” only to hear two weeks later if the person fully commits “holy shit, this really worked!” The results are more than enough to keep you moving forward, you just have to start. You just have to get over that hump… release the fear, release the idea that you have to be better than everyone else. Compete with yourself.
I have been chatting with one of my new friends at CFW. She is a rockstar and has totally embraced everything that crossfit has taught me… pretty much just as fast as I learned it! She gives 100% and has committed 100% to making a drastic change in her life. She trusts the ideas and fundamentals behind crossfit and paleo lifestyle and it has already begun to change her life. Her words are so refreshing and she has given me permission to share… “Its sort of weird...like, I know I'm still a "big" girl...but I feel so good about myself that I'm not as ashamed anymore.” After just a few weeks of hard work, she is proud of herself and quickly feeling more and more comfortable in her own skin every day! Absolutely amazing. We talk about commitment, struggles and of course that awesome feeling of completing a WOD and feeling like you are on top of the world! Today she said to me “Thank God I realize that what I do is really hard for me...even if I come in last. And...what the person who came in first did, was also very hard for them. It's relative.” She totally gets it. She is in it for the right reasons… and she is doing it! I am so unbelievably proud of her, she inspires me.
- 250m Row
- 10 Grasshopper
- 10 Back Extensions
- 10 Hollow Rocks
- 10 Wall Squats
WOD: "Flat" Garage Games WOD #4
1 Round for Time
- 1300m Run
- 800m Run with 25lb Plate
- 1300m Run
HSPU Work (SUCCESS!! Did 2 Sets of 2 and 4 sets of 3 consecutive Rx!!)
Also worked my butterfly pullups and they were pretty good!!
Challenge Day 11Breakfast: 1oz Pumpkin Seeds, 2 Egg Muffins, 1 Cup Butternut Squash, 12 oz Green Tea
Snack 1: 2oz Boars Head Nitrate Free Ham, 1/2 Avocado, 1 Tomato, 12 oz Green Tea
Lunch: 3 oz Ground Beef and Carrots and 1/3 cup of Coconut Milk
Break: 12 oz Green Tea
Dinner: 3 oz Chicken and Brussel Sprouts
Post WOD: Shake
Snack 2: 2oz Boars Head All Natural Turkey with 1 tbsp of olive oil mayo and 1/2 an Avocado on Romaine