December 27, 2011
You know, you wake up in the morning some days... and before you even get out of bed you think "oh god, I dont even want to get out of bed." Before you know it you are up, you stub your toe on the way into the bathroom, you drop the shampoo on your foot in the shower, you cant find anything to wear, and you spill your coffee on your shirt on the way into the office... we have ALL been there.
Some days, things all seem to fall into place. The alarm goes off, you wake up with energy, your hair falls just the right way when you blow dry it, the blemishes on your face dont seems so bad, coffee is made perfectly, there is no traffic on the way to work... and you just feel "good." Again... we have all had these days too (we just wish there were more of them).
Most days, are like groundhog day... personally. I wake up, put my lenses in, start my truck, get dressed (yes I really do that in that order), grab my bag for the gym, grab my lunch/shake, gym, shower, work, home, dinner, whatever needs to get done at the house, bed... rinse and repeat. When I lay in bed I try to clear my mind, which is pretty much impossible... and I think "tomorrow HAS to be better." I hate going to bed knowing that there are things in my life that need changing, that I can control, that I just deal with. Sure I have those "good" and "bad" days mixed in with the mundane, but life seems to be flying by so fast... why live it unsatisfied?
This weekend was a nightmare... I am going to spare all the "hoopla" and just say... all the reasons why I dislike the holidays we all wrapped up tightly in a bow and under the (hypothetical) Christmas tree with a tag that said "TO: SARAH, FROM: SANTA". Everything I try to avoid I managed to face head on this weekend... and I have decided that I need to just stop having any type of expectations for Christmas. It is what it is... in fact, that seems to be the slogan for 2011... "it is what it is." So, until next year Christmas... see ya! Dont let the door hit you in the ass on the way out!
So what to do, what to do... why lying in bed at night trying my hardest to fall asleep?! Well... pick out the positives in every day of course! My mom always told me to be "optimistic." If you know me in real life, you may or may not know me well enough to know that aside from my mother being the most optimistic person on the planet... I dont have one ounce of optimism in my body. So picking out the positives isnt really an easy thing for me at all. I have had a little bit of an "easier" time with this since starting CF and having the ability to literally list my goals and see them right in front of my face... however, somehow sometimes I still manage to turn that into "I could have done better..." which I dont want to do. Every goal is a goal... I need to keep that in my mind.
The key to all of this is CONTROL. I am the only one that can control how my day goes. No, I cant control how things will unfold, no I cant control what other people will do/say and no, I cant control the simple things in life... what I CAN do is control how I react to them. Yes, this is WAY WAY WAY easier said than done... and I realize this, but maybe this is my first step towards being able to do that. At least I can recognize that I have an issue in this category.
We have a pretty popular saying in our family "Go Big or Go Home." We have been using it a lot lately with some things that have been going on. Heres the deal. Step up to the plate. You want something, go get it. You have a problem, you tell the person or you deal with the problem. You want to graduate from college, work your ass off. You want to walk when people tell you its not going to happen for weeks and weeks... you DO IT... you work, you sweat and you cry, it sucks more than you can stand it... but you do it.
Today, my brother Eric went home from Spaulding Rehab... he was hit by a truck on December 5th. He defied all odds... he is a miracle... he came away from the accident alive and from that day has basically told himself every day, "go big or go home." He has pushed beyond what has been expected of him and literally has made me start looking at my life in a whole new way. TODAY... I know what I can be thankful for... TODAY, I know what makes it good... and its about time I start finding that good in every day.
TODAY is a good day... Eric came home... and I pushed beyond the limits of my own mind and did TWO unassisted dead hang pull ups... he is my inspiration!
I am in control of my own life and of my own happiness...
25 Double Unders
- 5 Pull Ups
- 10 GHD
- 10 Spiderman
- 5 Inchworms
2 X 9 Fundamentals
WOD: "Goldilocks and the Three Bear Crawls"
3 Rounds for Time
- 500m Row
- Gym Bear Crawl (down and back)
- 1 Min Rest
(My Time 9:06)
Front Squats 5-5-5-5
115, 145, 150, 150