Thursday, February 4, 2016

Hello Thursday

February 4, 2016

Wow... to start of this post I typed 2014, backspaced the 4 and put 5 than backspaced the 5 and put 6. Apparently, I think its 2014 again today. Funny that that happened actually. Until I just typed that I didn't realize the irony to what I am about to write.

Today is Thursday. What is Thursday?  Well, Thursday is rest day. At least it was for me, for the last 3 (or so) years. I would be at the 5:30 am class Mon, Tues, Wed, take Thurs off and be back at it Fri and Sat (Sun was also a rest day). Through the Open and during Regional training in both 2013 and 2014. I would go in and do some active recovery or a light workout that was prescribed for the day, but overall I have stuck to a pretty regular schedule.

So, whats changed? I stuck with my 5 day a week training through my whole pregnancy. I knew following Z's birth that it was going to be close to, if not completely impossible, for me to get to the gym on Saturdays. The truth is... I love my Saturday mornings with him. I dont want to go to the gym. I cherish that time, is is moving so fast. Now that he is a little older we can go for walks/runs, take swimming lessons, play all sorts of games and "try" to make sure good nap gets in there somewhere! My Saturday mornings are now filled with the slamming of a sippy cup off the side of the high chair and cleaning syrup from waffles or chocolate from chocolate chip pancakes off his face, rather than the slamming of weights and washing the chalk off of my raw callouses. You know what... thats ok. I wouldnt change it for the world.

I did however feel like I needed to make a change at the gym. I am fortunate enough that Hubs takes care of the AM duties (in more ways than one) and gets Z to daycare. I have able to keep with my 5:30am class. Yes, this requires me to drag myself to class after no or very little sleep sometimes... but that is my choice and it works for me. It gives me that very well needed "ME" time that everyone needs to have a daily dose of.  

My mom use to come to my house and watch Z on Thursdays. They were so sacred to me at the start of his little life. I looked forward to every Thursday, sleeping in a bit and waking up with him in my bed (yes, I co-slept, dont judge) cuddled with me. I would bring him downstairs and nurse him, get some play time in and lots of giggles and smiles until my mom arrived and it was time for me to get ready and leave for work. I took pictures documenting each week... he was born on a Thursday (rest day ironically) and it was fun to have that special milestone each week with him. I also loved that for 10 months of his life he only had to go to daycare for 3 days a week with an added bonus that he had lots and lots of QT with Grammy!

Things have changed a bit. My parents fulfilled their dream of moving to NC. We knew it was coming, albeit it happened very quickly when the process started. Non the less, I do not have any at home care for Z on Thursday anymore. Hubs and I took turns for the month of December staying home with him and as of the first week of January, he is in daycare for 4 days. He loves it there, we are very happy with his development and care, so thats a huge positive. However, it was a change we had to get use to.

What was I ever going to do with my Thursdays now. Thursdays, since the start of the year have become just another day. I decided to pick up the day at the gym and get back to 5 days a week. I get up at 4:25... get my things together, creep into Z's room, (unless he is practicing his "wake up at 4:00" routine and is already awake) give him a kiss, tell him I love him and I will see him that night... and make my way out the door to the gym.

So, whats the big deal? Well... Thursdays, oh Thursdays... its "conditioning day" at the gym. Usually a metcon in the 20-30 minute range with very little weight and lots and lots of cardio. Hmmm.... my "favorite." Any time I had a work/schedule conflict and had to miss a day prior to Z being born, I would attend Thursday, I knew it kicked my ass. Thats exactly what it has been doing since the start of the year... Kicking my ass! Workouts straight out of my "goat" book... and far from my comfort zone with nothing "heavy" to help ease the pain. Yuck.

Today is Thursday. This is the 5th week of my 5 day a week schedule. Yep, Im tired. Yep, Im sore. But honestly, its starting to feel good. I have been working really hard and guess what? Its starting to pay off. The struggle I had every Thursday, trying to keep up in that class is beginning to be less of a struggle and starting to be more fun. The dread that I felt when I saw the long cardio/no weight workout is no longer dread it is now at the "challenge" point where I want to do more and push harder and get better/faster. I dont find myself saying "well, its a conditioning workout, I dont do so well with those" anymore. I am now thinking "I am going to get this one, I can do this!"

It feels good to have that feeling again. It feels good to push out of my comfort zone and get better at something I have struggled with for a long time. Crap... I actually "like" Thursdays.

It takes a lot to get out of your comfort zone. It takes a lot to admit that you even have a comfort zone sometimes. In the last year weights have become competitive with most of the ladies in the gym and my metcons are in the same general area as well. My "thing" use to be heavy weights, but I dont really have a "thing" anymore... I do still love lifting and feel most comfortable with a bar in my hands, but I dont have the opportunity to move heavy weight anymore while working on my form and my numbers have suffered from that. I would say that my comfort zone is still weights, but lately standing on the outside of that bubble and working hard has proven to help make some advancements in areas that have been needing work for a long time.

I have had to make a lot of changes in my life, in the gym and out of the gym, over the last year... I am going back to my old posts and reading my own words. I am embracing the suck, I am challenging myself, I am being confident and motivated and most of all... I am loving my life. There is lots of "magic" happening...

Step out of your comfort zone. Accept challenge and change. Own it. You will be happy you did.

Thursday, January 14, 2016

Change...

January 14, 2016

Change….

As if I haven’t written about this one a million times…

The year 2015 was filled with so many changes its hard to keep track of them all. We are 14 days into 2016 and there are many many more changes to come. There has to be. Change is what keeps life moving forward. Change is what helps us evolve. Change is what sparks excitement, challenge, happiness, sadness and unpredictability in life.

There three types of change as I see it. One, something you initiate yourself, a new job, a haircut, starting the gym or a diet, the decision to have a baby and the birth of that child… these things YOU have control of. You made the decision to make the change. Two, something that happens in life someone else has control of, losing your job, your parents/friends moving or changing jobs, a new “standard” way of doing something at your job or gym… these things SOMEONE ELSE has control of. They have decided to make a change and you have to “deal” with it, accept the change and move on.  Finally, three, something that happens that was not a choice of anyone, NO ONE has control, a death, sickness, the weather, an accident, your child suddenly deciding its time to scale the stairs or start teething in the middle of the night. All are change… all happen in everyone’s lives every single day…

All three types of change are an adjustment. Personally, change I initiate myself is always welcome. What makes this so awesome and easy to accept is that I had/have control over it. I made the choice for the change… Even if it is something I choose to challenge myself with… like when I decided to join CrossFit and make it part of my everyday life… or when we decided we wanted to have a baby.  Yes, these are two very different changes and certainly on very different scales, but they both affected my life and forced me to make certain day to day decisions. The change in lifestyle was not easy when I started CrossFit and gave up eating like shit and half assing it at the globo-gym. It was hard, taxing and challenging… but I never let myself quit. It was something I wanted in my life and I faced the change square on. It was a self-induced challenge.  The change in lifestyle as a Mama has been massive guessing game that I hope and pray I make the right choices with every day… It is the most challenging, yet most rewarding change I have ever faced in my life. I love being a Mama! I suppose the biggest difference in these two is that CrossFit dosent have to continue to be in my life unless I choose to keep it. My little man… well… he has me wrapped around his finger for the rest of my life.

Of course, for me,  the other two types of change can be hard to accept at times. Some are certainly more “welcome” than others. You might be “in favor” of a change that is being brought to you so the idea of making that change isn’t so bad… you might be happy that the change is going to take place. Will it improve your life/job/experience? Does it make things easier or more convenient for you? Do you find yourself thinking “I wish I thought of that?” If so, you are probably going to have an easier time accepting the change and moving on. No, you didn’t choose to make it happen, but maybe you wished that it would change or you never thought it could get better. Those are the times you embrace the change like you initiated it yourself. Its easy… right?

Then, there is the “other” change. The one you can’t accept… have a  hard time accepting… or really, just don’t want to accept. This can either be change that was initiated by someone else, or something that no one has any control over. There are so many extremes to this its hard to cover the spectrum. Did they change the coffee in your office from Starbucks to Newmans Own? But you like Starbucks better… why didn’t anyone ask? Did they suddenly change your health insurance and its costing you more money now? Is this just a fact of life and increase all over, or just your company… it already feels like your whole paycheck is “gone” before it hits your bank account. Did your parents move 900 miles away? How will you just pop in to see them? Was there an accident, did someone pass away? So so so many different situations, all sucky on different levels, but all CHANGE. Change that you now have to “deal” with and accept as part of your life.

It is my goal (and has been for a while) to start to “embrace” these types of changes. Try to understand why they are happening if possible, of course some things, like a death or accident are just too hard to understand. If I try to understand why the change is occurring, weather I am in favor of it or not, it will soften the blow. It allows me to look at in a different light and start to accept what is about to happen. I can look at what I need to do to get through it and if I am really feeling ambitious, I might be able to find a positive in it. I might start to see that  the change is going to do good things for me and I don’t know it yet.. or maybe it has a positive effect on someone else and will improve their life and happiness. Maybe, just maybe, the change was initiated as a positive welcome change for someone else, yet it feels like a challenge to me because I don’t think like them or feel whatever it is is necessary. I may not understand why it has to be that way, but guess what? In most cases I just have to accept it. Why not try to do it with a positive outlook, give it a shot. Certainly complaining, crying or protesting, is not going to make it not happen.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. -Maya Angelou



Monday, January 4, 2016

This is the Beginning

January 4, 2016

As most people do, upon entering a new year, I have really been thinking a lot about what makes me happy. What things are in my life that keep me going day to day and what are the things that weigh me down that I could live without? One thing that keeps popping into my head is how much I miss writing. Every week or so I get an email from my FB link telling me that my "fans" miss me... because I havent posted anything on my page. I also keep getting these "memory" posts that link to some of my posts in the past... and when I read them I cant help but jump right back in time to what I was feeling when I was writing them.

Now, I have no idea how many people actually read my blog. I could (and probably am) writing my thoughts out and posting them on the interwebs only so I have an archive of my thoughts... publicly I guess. I know I started it so I could share my thoughts/struggles/dreams within my crossfit "adventure" in the case that someone out there might be inspired by it, but I think it became more than that for me... I dont know...

Anyway, I am here to give it another go. I like the feeling of getting things out of my head and onto the screen and maybe, just maybe, others like to read it too... other than the three people I know that actually read/follow... and one of them is my husband so that doesn't really count.

A lot has happened since my last post. Of course, the biggest being the fact that I am a Mama to the absolute love of my life, my "Little Monster" Z. He is 10 months old and growing, changing and surprising me every single day. I had no idea that I could possibly love someone so much. I am like a great big pile of mush with him... Mrs "Im never having kids" and "I dont know how to be a Mama" is actually doing it. At least, I am doing it to the best of my knowledge and abilities... totally winging it! But hey... hes happy, healthy and he keeps me on my toes!!

My goal with this blog now has sort of changed. My life has changed... so I guess that only makes sense. I of course still want to motivate. I still want to encourage others to push themselves out of the comfort zone, believe in themselves and thrive to be the best they can be... but similar to how this whole thing started, I am in need of a push for myself as well.

Of course when I had a baby my body changed, but so did my mind. I had this idea that I was going to work out until the day I delivered (which I did) then come back at 6 weeks postpartum and hop right back on the crazy train to Regionals 2016. Yeah. I did get myself back to the gym right on schedule, I dont skip when I am tired, I dont "cut myself any slack" but honestly, my goals have shifted. My life is not the gym... my goals in life which at one time had "make it to regionals" right up at the top of the list... now have a little man sitting in its place. My goal is to be the best Mama I can possibly be. My goal is to assure that I provide him with the best life, home, upbringing that I possibly can... My goal is for him to be healthy, happy and know that I will be there for him and stand behind him no matter what life throws at us. My goal is also to get him to sleep through the night!! Haha!!

 Life is very short. In this new year I want to work at getting myself back to where I am comfortable at the gym... I am still nursing and my body is still changing, I understand that. Its been a hard thing for me to accept. I will admit that there were days I let myself just "go through the motions" at the gym. It was/is hard to function at 100% at 5:30am class when I was up at 10:00pm then 3:00am to feed/rock/sooth or do whatever I needed to do. The goal is to work towards feeling like "ME" again. Regaining the confidence, regaining the strength and showing Z that he can do anything he sets his mind to.

I have allotted myself a little time today to get this started. I am looking forward to 2016! Its a new year... a new page and an adventure waiting to happen!!

Sunday, May 10, 2015

Holy Sh*t, I'm a Mama

May 10, 2015

Today deserves a post.

I am sitting her in my living room on the floor with my lap top in my lap. I have on eye on the screen and the other on Mr Z as he snoozes away after a long day and very exciting weekend.

See, I promised you guys (I say that like people actually read this... other than you NB "Hiiii") that I would write up my birth story. I did that. I spent a little time the other day and wrote it out. I decided that it was far to personal to put out there on the interwebs. Its something that I want to have between me, Hubs and #2. I will include it in Mr Z's baby scrap book and anyone who sees that can choose to read it or not, but sorry, the whole story isnt going to go up here. I do want to share the highlights... because I am a woman of my word!

We all know I was overdue. At 41 weeks I had my NST and ultrasound. It was assumed that I would want to be induced as soon as possible so at my appointment that week they let me know I was all set to go to the hospital Sunday (the 22nd of Feb) to get started. I asked my Dr if there was any reason that I "had" to be induced. She agreed that if there was no medical reason and I was comfortable with it, we could go to 42 weeks. She orderd another NST and sent me on my way with instructions that if I didnt go into labor on my own by Wednesday the 25th that I had to go and be admitted.

The week came and went and after the gym and work on Wednesday I headed home for Hubs and I to go to the hospital. Kind of weird knowing the next time we would be home, we would have the little monster with us.

So here is where you are going to get the abbreviated version, They admitted me and started what is called Cervidil. This is supposed to start softening the cervix. Its inserted and should be kept in for 12 hours. Apparently, this thing can fall out when you go to the bathroom. If you think a 42 week pregnant woman dosent get up 4 times a night to pee especially when kept up all night totally intrigued by the sound of her babies heart beat on a monitor.. you are out of your mind!

In the morning they came to check if it worked. This is when the found that it was in fact "missing." It also did nothing. I was not dilated at all and the little bugger was still super high. The nurse was instructed to start pitocin and the Dr would be back in "a few hours."

Clearly the little monster was just as anxious about pitocin as I was and decided to make the first move. When the nurse came in to came in to start it, she asked if I was feeling the contractions she could see on the monitor. I was... which were not really painful at the time. She at that time decided she was NOT going to start the pitocin and see what would happen on its own. It was 8:30am.

Just a few hours later at 10am I was not able to speak through a contraction. Hubs called my parents and #2 arrived. The rest is sort of a blur. I remember going thinking "how am I going to do this?" I remember telling the woman that asked me if I wanted drugs to "go away." I remember thinking that it was taking Hubs 100 hours to drink 1 cup of coffee... (found out later it was his second cup).

Next thing I knew I was telling Hubs that I was in so much pain I didnt think I could do it. That I was going to cave. The contractions were hard, fast and really really painful. I labored at the edge of the bed seated with Hubs in front of me and #2 behind me. They both were doing all the "right things" without even my asking. I was however, scared to death.

A mere 3 hours after being told I was 3cm... I was checked and was fully dilated. HOLY SHIT STORM it was time to actually push this kid out. The room got crazy there were too many nurses and too many people talking at me. I didnt like it. My Dr arrived and was shocked to see where I was and how fast I progressed. She understood my anxiety and backed everyone off so I could focus on what I needed to do from one person giving direction. Three contractions and 9 real pushes later... the most amazing thing happened... my son was born.

1:40 on February 26, 2015... I became a Mama.

I wont ever say it was "easy" because it wasnt. But I will say this, I was told "you will forget" and "its totally worth it." Both of these are true. There was nothing and will be nothing that compares in my lifetime to giving birth to my son. The whole thing, the 42 weeks, the labor and the delivery... 100% worth it. Also, by the time he was in my arms, the pain was gone. Even the recovery... it just melts away every time I looked at him.

Now (because about 2 hours has passed since I actually started this post), I just fed the little man and put him to bed after spending my first mothers day as a mother... It was the most amazing day. He is the most amazing little boy and I am so excited to see what his life brings him. I love life through his eyes. Everything is so pure and new. The world is in front of him... Look out!!

I can only hope that I can be the Mama for him that my Mama is for me...

Me and Mr Z - February 26, 2015

Me and Mr Z - Mothers Day, May 10, 2015

Thursday, May 7, 2015

Life Moves Pretty Fast

May 7, 2015

My friend posted this quote on the book of faces this morning. I thought it was so fitting as I sat down to write this during my lunch at work.

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." - Ferris B

There have been plenty of times in my life that I have felt like I blinked and time passed by, but nothing compares to the last 10 weeks. Honestly, in a mere 70 days my life has changed so much. I have had sleepless nights, I have cried, I have been frustrated and I have questioned myself... I have literally googled everything under the sun to see if someone/anyone has asked or questioned the same things I am... but then I look into the face of my boy. A life Hubs and I created. I hold him, I smell him, I snuggle him and than he breaks out one of those awesome humongous smiles that light up his whole face, or he bats those eyelashes as he looks at me like I am his whole world and it all comes together. One tiny little human has completely changed me from the inside out. I cherish every smile that I share with him, every coo and every single second (even the poopy diapers and middle of the night feedings) that I have with him.

Dont blink... time totally flies! 

                                          ONE WEEK                                                        10 WEEKS
This little man is just amazing me with every second. The smiles take my breath away, the coos and sounds make my heart warm. He loves to lay on his back on the floor and kick away! He also loves anything that is the color red (my guess is its the clearest color for him). He is the BEST in the morning when he wakes up... it takes about 20 minutes... stretching and yawning. Its so awesome. He is a lover of the bath tub, my little fishy and now he is splashing his feet away when we bathe him every night! He had his well baby check up and is now 13lbs 9oz and 25" long! He surprised the Dr when she flipped him over to look at his back and he put his legs down straight and tried to stand up! This is something we do often at home... he is already wanting to bounce on his own legs! My little stinker! I have a feeling he isnt going to be stationary for long! I just love my Little Monster so much! Such a proud Mama! 


What about me? Well things are going pretty good. Work has been extremely busy which is awesome, but not at the same time. Awesome because my days are flying by... but not awesome because the "former me" would be at work late to get my deadlines complete BEFORE they were due. Now I am working on getting things done for the actual deadline. Either that or I just have to work faster! I can do that too! I feel good when I am at work and I know that Z is in good hands both when he is at home 2 days and daycare the other 3. I want to be able to give him everything he needs... so this is necessary. I miss him, but again, I just cherish every second... even those at 2:00am. 

The gym has been good. Its certainly a struggle getting back to where I was/want to be. The second week back was a little easier than the first and this past week I have really felt a lot better. I feel like my strength is coming back bit by bit as well as my cardio. My core has suffered (obviously) which is making some lifts a little harder and its frustrating that I can not link my pullups and for some reason cant get my chest to the bar for a chest to bar pullup, but you know what. It will come. I know it will. I will not give up and I will keep moving forward. 

I was talking to NB at the gym the other day when I "PRed" my 3 Rep overhead squat. By that I mean that I hit a higher number than just the week before when we did it. I mentioned to him that I hadnt looked in my old notebook to see what my old 3RM was... I told him that I was going to start a new notebook, set new goals and hit new PRs. He responded to me with the best line that will hold true in so many things... he said "Sarah, life is a whole new notebook now." That is is NB, that it is! 

Whats really awesome is that the CFW community is still as great as it ever was. My 5:30am peeps are all so supportive. The second I start to beat myself up over something the are all right there to pick me back up. Having to scale strict pullups with a band was probably one of the most humbling moments I have had in a long time... not one person made me feel like I had taken steps back. These are the moments that make me fall in love with crossfit over and over. 

I will be writing when I can to update life with the Little Monster and my progress at the gym. However I am going to take Ferris B's advice from above and stop and look around at life... not cram too much into it that it flies by and I have no idea where it went. Not pack my schedule and my "things I need to do" so tight that I cant take the time to just sit on  my couch with my boy in my lap and stare into his beautiful eyes and thank god that he is in my life. I will take the time to lay on the floor with Hubs and our son and laugh when he laughs and smile when he smiles. After all, those are the moments I will remember and cherish forever.

Friday, April 17, 2015

Treat Life Like a Band-aid

April 17, 2015

Its time for an update. All I could think of when trying to come up with a title for this weeks blog was a band-aid.

There is lots to write about... the arrival of our "Little Monster," who decided to arrive exactly 2 weeks after his estimated due date, what the last week of pregnancy was like, how the delivery was... all the "details." Than of course there will be the post about what life was like the first week home, how Hubs and I are adjusting, the things I cant live without, the things I never thought I would think/say/do, that I now think/say/do... but not today. Today, I need to write about the "now."

I should first introduce you to our Little Monster. "Mr. Z" arrived on February 26, 2015 at 1:40pm. He was 8lbs 2oz and 20.75" long. He came into the world with his hand next to his face (awesomesauce) and is absolutely perfect in every single way!

Mr. Z @ 6 Weeks Old

Now, what on earth is this band-aid talk. Well... you know how when you are trying to take off a band-aid and someone says "just rip it off, it will only hurt for a minute," because its torture to just ease it off slowly. Its a similar thought to when you are about to jump into the pool and you stick your foot in and its cold so rather than jumping in, you walk down the steps on the ladder... basically "go big or go home." Thats what this week has been like.

Not only did I start back at work this Monday, but I also started Mr. Z in daycare, started back full time at crossfit and started tracking my food again on MFP. In perfect "Sarah" form I decided rather than ease back into "life" I needed to just rip off the band-aid so to speak and just do everything at the same time.

How is it? Its hard... but its also good. I miss my little man more than I could have ever imagined when I am away from him. I have never been more excited to leave work and either go home to where he is 2 days a week or go pick him up at daycare the other 3 days. The smiles on his face make the sleepless nights melt away and with every change that he goes through every day... my heart just grows and grows and grows. I never thought I could love someone so much in my life. I could look at him for hours and I already kiss him all over as many times as I can per day! I am so thankful that he is not in daycare all 5 days. Its so hard to leave him... but necessary to get back into the swing of life as we now know it. I need my job and enjoy what I do, which is a bonus because if I hated it I am not sure I would have wanted to come back at all. I am lucky that my boss is great and if I need time with him I can have it. So... all in all, we are doing ok on the job front.

Starting back at crossfit this week has been kind of hilarious. Seriously, I had said to N this week (Wednesday I think) when I was sore as hell, "this is so sucky..." He responded to me with my own words that I have said many many times, EMBRACE THE SUCK.

That is exactly what I have to do. My body has undergone something that takes a lot to come back from. I need to keep that in perspective. Its really a challenge to do mentally since I did CF through my whole pregnancy... At the end I was lifting a little lighter to not compromise form and develop bad habits and of course everything took a little more time, but I was growing a human and it was pretty obvious when I looked down and saw my pregnant self, or felt him move, why I had to let up. Now, here I am "back" and feeling like myself again, but my body, muscles and lungs just havent caught up to my mind yet!

I was lucky in the fact that I was cleared to workout after 2 weeks. I was able to do things around my house... need to get a newborn to nap? Just scoop him up and walk up and down the stairs 15-20 times! I also made it into the gym three times the last 3 weeks I was home on leave. One to just do some stretching, warming up and rowing and the other two I did workouts and lifting. However, if you are a crossfitter, you know that nothing compares to giving it your all during a workout.

This Monday I started back full time (Mon, Tues, Wed and Fri) and like I said above, it was, and still is,  tough stuff. I look down at myself and no longer see the pregnancy, I see a body that isnt exactly what it was before I got pregnant. That is a tough pill to swallow... Than I head to the bar and I fail my back squat or I cant get the power snatch that I always hit before I took that time off... another tough pill... I have to put all that into perspective and remember what I just did. What my body just did and then picture my awesome, amazing, beautiful, fantastic little boy and be ok with the time it is going to take to get back into the swing of things.

We... myself, Hubs and Mr. Z have made it through the first week of daycare, work and crossfit... There have been restless nights and a few tears but we are doing it and we are the happiest Daddy and Mama on the planet! I wouldn't change it for the world.

I will continue to work hard, I will continue to play hard... I will continue to crossfit. I will get back to where I want to be and than some... and that with the most awesome gift of all right by my side.

Stay tuned and I might just share my birth story with ya'all!

Friday, February 20, 2015

FORTY ONE... yes, 41 weeks...

February 20, 2015

FORTY ONE... yes, 41 weeks...

I have been thinking of what to write for this week. Its hard, it really is at this point, to come up with things to write... so this is what I decided to do. I am going to provide you with a list of things that I have heard said to me about 4,000 times in the last week, some even before I was "overdue" and let you know why I feel the way I do about them. I am sure, very very sure that what I am going to say is going to come across crappy to some, but absolutely hilarious to others (maybe if you have been in my shoes, or even just pregnant in general). I am also 100% sure that every person that asks anything, is just clearly showing their way of caring and interest in what is happening to me. So please dont take offense to this. Everyone is "excited" and I am totally excited too! I cant wait to meet and hold the stubborn Little Monster that kicks the crap out of me daily... but really, this is a list that makes me cringe.

"How ya feeling" (especially in that sing songy drawn out voice)
I hate this one... and I have heard it the most, at least 5 times a day sometimes back to back. I know its the most natural and first question people think of to ask... but my personal response day after day after day... is "great." Because, I am feeling great. Things havent changed and to be honest, I am not sure what people are expecting to hear. I would assume most women would say "good" or "ok" or something along those lines and not really get into the "details." Or do they... 

"Any baby news"
No... no news. I promise that when I have the baby I will not keep it a secret. Hubs and I will take the time we need with the Little Monster and than CALL our family and friends, text some other people and than share the news with social media (in that order). Rest assured, there is no way we will keep the birth of our child a secret from anyone. And no, just because I didn't answer your text or message/email does not mean I am in labor.

"How dialated are you?" or "Have they checked you"
Um... yes, I have a very public blog on the interwebz and yes, I  do share things about my life and my personal experiences... but there is no way in this world I am going to talk about the inner workings of my vagina with anyone other than my doctor, my husband and my mother (and dont go calling my mother she isnt going to tell you either). I have not shared, publicly, my ultrasound images for the same reason. This is the inside of my body... that is personal to me. If I showed you in person, great. If not. Sorry. I dont know you well enough, or feel comfortable with you enough to share that. Some women have no issues announcing to the world that they are Xcm dialated and whatever % effaced... but me, no. You arent going to hear that from me. I have also declined unless medically necessary to "check" me.

"Will you let me know when you are on the way to the hospital"
Unless you are my husband or my doctor, who probably already know that I am on the way to the hospital... not going to happen.

"Oh you poor thing"
Poor thing? Was I complaining about something? I am pretty sure I just said I was doing great when you just asked me how I was doing... I am not lying. I feel great. I feel amazing actually. There are times I forget that I am pregnant (aside from the constant poking on the inside).

"Have you tried *insert one of the million things that people tell you to do here*"
Walking... yes, I walk a lot... every day in fact. Squatting... Id say so. I squat a few times a week, is it ok that there is 125+lbs on the bar? Eating spicy food... every day. Having sex... right because I am going to tell you all about that... right after I tell you how dilated I am. Eating anything else... riding down a bumpy street... castor oil... raspberry tea... REALLY?! The list goes on and on and on and on...

"Your still going to the gym?"
Yep, every morning. Didnt you just tell me to squat? and walk?

"Your still here (at work)"
Ah... yes. Last I checked having a baby will cost me some money... and I need to work. So until the little one is here, yes... I am at work.

"Enjoy it now, once the baby is here its on the outside, its more work... get some sleep"
SLEEP... hahaha. I havent had a full night sleep in months. I am also confused, do you want the baby to come, or do you not? Should I hurry up and have it... or wait it out as long as I can and be thankful I am overdue... this is all so confusing.

"It feels like youve been pregnant forever"
I am sorry that it seems like forever for you. Let me speed that up for you. I dont know how you have managed to make it a whole 41 weeks. I am sorry, how can I make it up to you. Maybe a text on the way to the hospital even if its the middle of the night so you can sleep better knowing you are almost done worring about me.

"When are you going to be induced"
Well, I know its hard to believe, but I have decided to let nature take its course. I will go as long as the doctors will allow me to safely go with the baby on the inside. I know its hard to believe but I dont want to force my child out, as crazy excited as I am to meet him/her... I am not uncomfortable and believe it or not, have talked to my Doctors about the health and well being of both myself and my child... From the start of my pregnancy I have had a little intervention as possible. So, my plan, my plan is to see if this all happens naturally...

"The baby will come when its ready"
Slowly count to 10... walk away from the pregnant lady... she might haul off and wack you...

P.S. DONT TOUCH... never touch a pregnant womans belly unless she tells you its ok...


Now... this wouldnt be a "good" list and I would feel kinda shitty if I didnt follow it up with things you SHOULD day to a 41 week... or any pregnant woman.

"Good Morning" or "Hello"
Just act casual, normal... acknowledge her presence and if she has anything to share with you... she will. If she is a close friend or family member that shares, this is the time she will share with you.

"Good to see you, you look great"
Lie if you have to... but for the love of god stop with the "you are still here's"

"Want to go get a pedicure"
She is still a "normal" person. She likes to do fun things and YES she will still want to go to dinner and have a fun night out and maybe some time with her friends before the baby comes. So... ask and maybe she will be free!

"Did you watch XYZ last night"
Or any other normal conversation you might have with her. She really just wants things to feel "normal."

"Thinking of you"
This is an awesome text or message to receive. As long as you arent going to FREAK OUT if she dosent get back to you right away... or assume she is in labor if she dosent... than perfect!

"Sending my love and hope everything is good"
Another great message. Not asking for information, not freaking if it is not responded to... just enough to let her know you care.

This is all I have to offer for now. I guess a good rule of thumb is this... if she hasnt shared anything with you before she was 41 weeks, she probably isnt going to indulge in what her last appointment was like, if her discharge has changed, if she has lost her mucus plug or if and when she is going to be induced. Also, tread lightly... start with something like "good morning, how are you" like you would ask anyone... pregnant or not and if the person you are asking wants to get into how they "are" than they will.. if they are like me... they will be happy you didnt start the conversation with "HOW YA FEEEEEELLLLINNNNN?"